Good for you. I actually admire people who, in this neutral and cowardly world, still have the guts to take a stance—for or against—on anything. Even more so when they do it passionately, unapologetically, and with conviction.
I’m not one of those women who thinks men shouldn’t have opinions about abortion because they don’t have uteruses. Far from it—I believe everyone should speak up about the world we live in. For example, I don’t ejaculate, yet I do have opinions about the timing and quality of male ejaculation, among other things that may seem unrelated to me at first glance.
I assume that, along with your brave and committed stand for life, you’re also coherent in your actions. I’m sure you never have sex without a condom, to prevent unwanted pregnancies for your sexual partner. Whether she’s your wife or a lover, I take it you’d never put a woman at risk.
I’m positive you never sleep with married women. I assume all your lovers (if you have them) are single, because if the pill or condom failed, they might have a hard time explaining that pregnancy to their husbands—and some, frightened (or cowardly), might even consider abortion to save their marriage. But of course, you’d never put a woman in that position. Your commitment to life is above all that.
I also imagine you’re a tireless activist for a world where women have equal educational and job opportunities. I assume you’re constantly speaking out against sexist behavior in other men, advocating for equal pay, and encouraging sex education in schools—including birth control. I bet you insist your sons use condoms and don’t pressure their girlfriends into unprotected sex. Coitus interruptus is risky, and you don’t want to become a grandfather just yet—especially not one whose grandchild might be aborted.
Needless to say, I’m sure you’re a man of integrity who condemns pedophiles who impregnate girls aged ten, eleven, twelve. Not only would you never do such a thing, but you’d report anyone who did. Even if it doesn’t happen in your neighborhood or social circle, I trust you choose your friends wisely.
I bet you’re also against incest. I assume you’ve never gotten off to a porn video where actors pretend to be father and daughter, and that none of your friends or relatives (to your knowledge) would ever be into something that sick.
Of course, you condemn rape—whether committed by one man or by seven. You know, those oh-so-modern “packs” of men who gang-rape women. They rarely use condoms, so the risk of pregnancy is high. Sure, some girls don’t seem to resist much in the videos those animals post online (maybe because they’re paralyzed by fear or, who knows, because they’re just total sluts). But never mind that—what matters is preventing unwanted pregnancies, something you clearly prioritize.
I’m against abortion too, and I fight for a world where women only get pregnant when and how they want.
In that world, all women—regardless of age or orientation—will have access to education, information, and the birth control methods of their choice. They’ll live in a world free of religious, political, and economic coercion, and safe from rape—whether by one man, or ten, or by a father, or by a stranger. Then and only then will they become mothers (if they ever want to) when they’re emotionally and financially ready.
In that world, we won’t have to argue about whether abortion is wrong, or whether adoption is good, or whether gay couples should be allowed to adopt. Children will be with their mothers—where they belong—because they’ll have been conceived intentionally. That simple.
Yes, that might be bad news for people hoping to adopt children—whether because they’re a same-sex couple and therefore infertile, or a heterosexual couple with fertility issues. But that day, they’ll just have to learn how to deal with reality.
And that day, I’ll be not just against abortion—as I already am—but celebrating that enormous achievement: women of all ages, whether straight or lesbian, finally being able to decide if, when, and how to become mothers. No pressure. No violence. No interference.
The old chant “Our bodies, our choice” finally made real—without abortion, without coercion. Just what it always should’ve been: our choice to become mothers, or not.
Until that day comes, I support legal abortion. Because right now, women are still getting pregnant without wanting to. And while some go ahead with the pregnancy—even if it was the result of an affair, incest, condom failure, or rape—not all do. Many choose abortion.
Until those conditions change—until women only get pregnant by choice and under conditions they control—there will still be abortions. And I deeply regret that, because I don’t like abortion at all.
I truly believe, like you, that life is important. Maybe not the most important thing, but still very important. And because I care about life, I care about many lives: the lives of women, and the lives of their children—both born and unborn.
You and I can’t stop women and girls from choosing abortion. That decision belongs to them. And they will do it—with or without our approval, in safe conditions or in dangerous ones.
The only thing you and I get to decide—since laws are supposedly made by all of us—is whether abortion is legal or not. I defend the right of all women in today’s violent, chaotic world to have that choice. I respect their decision, whatever it may be.
I’ve never had an abortion myself. I’ve always promised my daughters that I would welcome any grandchild they might give me—no matter how that child was conceived. But ultimately, the choice to give birth will always be theirs. I hope they never find themselves in that situation, but I know many women and girls do.
Is abortion a painful, difficult decision? Absolutely.
Wouldn’t it be better not to get pregnant in the first place? Of course.
Can the world guarantee that we’ll only get pregnant when we want to? No.
So let’s work to change the conditions that lead women to consider abortion.
Instead of condemning them for doing it in secret—or for doing it at all, under today’s conditions—let’s make it so no woman ever needs to see abortion as a necessity.
I believe in life too. A better life—for everyone. For those of us already here, and for those yet to come.
I don’t think harassing women and girls who get abortions, shaming them, chasing them down, or insulting them is a constructive way to fight for that better world I want—and that I suppose you want too.
And I hope that’s not your way of defending life either, man who’s against abortion.
Because the verbal and physical violence used in the name of “protecting unborn children,” while ignoring the lives of their mothers, is nothing but another form of violence—against women and girls.
We’ve already taken more than enough hits.
Don’t fall into that trap.
Isabel Salas
